Pilaf The Hero
by DemonWolf555
Summary: What happens when Marron is kidnapped and Emperor Pilaf has to rescue her?


Emperor Pilaf was a brand new businessman and treasure hunter and his girlfriend Marron was kidnapped a few weeks earlier.

Emperor Pilaf kicked the Masked Man hard , shattering his appendix and spewing blood and guts all over the floor.

"You Son-of-a-bitch I'm going to make you eat my boot who dare you kidnap my Marron?"

Emperor Pilaf smashed his blade hard down on cutting his ear off. .

Blood red blood shot out, splashing everywhere.

You could see dripping veins hanging down and broken bones on the floor screamed in agony and then lunged at Emperor Pilaf.

Ripped Emperor Pilafs head off in one move, sending it spinning accross the floor. Leaving a trail of red ozing blood and pieces of brain,

Emperor Pilaf's body slumped down, spraying blood everywhere.

Suddenly, Emperor Pilaf woke up.

"You know, i think is back, i can feel it in my groin".

"Oh no, not again"

"I must go, i must journey alone to defeat him and rescue Marron once and for all!"

With that, Emperor Pilaf marched off

(not forgetting to take his vital blade sword with him)

Our sad adventurers walked backwards into the jaws of certain death .

Uncountable old ladys past before they reached climax

"Oh, look, we are at our destination we had to arrive to!"

Our heroes arrived at the central district.

"How will we find where she is based in this big city?"

"We will never find him."

"It will be like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"Maybe not, look...there!"

Behind them was a massive blimp sign with Corp scribbled upon it in bold .

So they found where she was,and entered the Cave network...

As they entered there was lots of loyal henchmen.

So they swung back their trenchcoats and murdercided them all with their concealed Wands of awesome.

They steped over the dead bodys and made their way forward past the blood and guts they sprayed over the walls just moments before. Marron vometted in disgustand blood came out.

"Ok, she is sure to be in the penthouse sweet in his Apartment " said pressing the correct elevator button

The elevator went up a few floors. SUDDENLY there was a bang on the roof!

"Down!" shouted Marron.

And they did. Which is just as well, because seconds later...

The hatch opened and a couple of Robots with Machettes pirouetted down.

"oh god! What are we going to do!?" said

"We gota think fast" said .

"Ok"

"I know you dont like violence, Emperor Pilaf, But you have to do this. Do it for me. please.." Said Marron

Emperor Pilaf thought about all the people Masked Man had murdered recently.

"Ok, your right, I know we have to fight them" said Emperor Pilaf who did a massive mighty super karate kick just as the first robber landed which knocked them unconscious.

"Nice work. But its not over yet! Look!"

A massive Minions appeared, but they killed him.

Ding! They had reached their floor.

"So you have come" said a voice booming from the sky

A Hovercar appeared above them.

laughed at them from it.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha"

"I could gun you all down from here with my Shotgun, but I would rather do this...personal style."

She leaped down and landed at the far side of the rooftop

"Ready?" she said, still laughing.

Emperor Pilaf removed his shirt and flexed his abs.

"Yes. I am ready. "

With that they leaped at eachother, metaphorical guns blazzing (which were littoral Bow and arrows).

"I kill you dead"

Head butted Emperor Pilaf in the chest

Blood splashed onto the floor.

Emperor Pilaf fell backwards in pain punching a few times before crashing to the ground.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha" laughed

"You could never have defeated me, so why did you even try?"

"I had too, for all that is good and just in the world."

"Well now you will die. Goodbye."

leaned over Emperor Pilaf holding a large rock.

"Quick Emperor Pilaf use this!" said Marron ,chucking a nearby hammer towards Emperor Pilaf.

Emperor Pilaf grabbed it and chucked it towards hard, knocking the masked man backwards...off the edge of the tall Tower they were on and proceeded to kill him!

"Goodbye, have a nice fall!"

"ARrrrrgggg"

SPLAT!

"We are safe now, he fell to his certain doom."

Marron got out from the bush where she was and hugged and kissed Emperor Pilaf. "Thank you,Emperor Pilaf you saved us all"

"Don't mention it." Empeor Pilaf said.

So they left the tower and went home. They lived happily ever after and had lots of kids.


End file.
